| 3558. because there is a reason the clinics stock more Valtrex than Motrin | |
| 3557. Because my colon is now bipolar. | |
| 3556. I would recommend making a “Missed Connections” portion for ILB.com, but it would just be 73 entries of “Girl who was running on Disney Monday morning in the tight green shorts.” | |
| 3555. YES! Finally, there's a parking spot, Oh, another damn gator... | |
| 3554. Because this place is the PERFECT living country song...I gained a new girlfriend, used house, dog and beatup truck..all while at Bagram... and in under a year ILB | |
| 3553. ILB because starving seems like a safer alternative than the food | |
| 3552. ILB because when you call 911 the cast of the Jersey Shore shows up | |
| 3551. ILB because it is the only place in the world you can hear the big voice say "incoming IDF.. don your reflective belt" | |
| 3550. Because this place is the PERFECT living country song...I have lost my wife, house, dog and my truck..all while at Bagram... and in under a year ILB | |
| 3549. @3545. Are you going as the fat redneck or the ghetto thug version of a Fluor employee? Hope you have a lanyard. | |
| 3548. ILB because on Disney I saw a horse, a roman citizen in a toga, a catwoman, a pirate, and Ozzy in drag... then I relized with the last one she wasn't in costume. | |
| 3547. The invasion has begun! I saw an Imperial Stormtrooper driving a contractor truck. I new they were minions of the dark side in disguise! I guess that really was Luke Skywalker posing as a garbage collector after all... | |
| 3546. ILB because we can land unmanned aircraft but a 5k ends up a mile short | |
| 3545. b/c I'm going as a 'Contractor' for Halloween. | |
| 3544. ILB because someone thought it a great idea to have a haunted house where the patrons are carrying loaded weapons. Yea, nothing could possibly go wrong there. . . | |
| 3543. ILB because I saw an Imperial Stormtrooper, the Easter Bunny and two Disney Princesses on Disney. I'm earning my combat pay, I swear! | |
| 3542. ILB but I hate # 3537 because that douchebag is getting something other than his hand | |
| 3541. ILB because i told a contractor i was "living the dream" now he is trying to sell me a tshirt with that logo on it. | |
| 3540. Because if it got stuck in this place, Honeybadger WOULD care. | |
| 3539. because #3537 thinks telling us about his gay b-hut escapades is somehow making us all jealous.... | |
| 3538. ILB because it turns out the ball of dust I've been carrying for 6 months had an M9 in it. | |
| 3537. ILB because it's the only place I've ever had a blow job interrupted by a mortar. | |
| 3536. Because the open poo-pond in Kandahar made me miss Bagram. | |
| 3535. Because reading the complaint surveys by civilians on the wall of the DFAC by about the shortage of whipped cream and almonds at the ice cream bar makes you realize that you're not really earning your endangerment pay. | |
| 3534. because I'm not sure which is funnier - the fat contractor casually stepping out of his Land Cruiser 30 seconds after the first IDF impact, or everybody ducking when he slammed the door | |
| 3533. Because the aroma rising from Foot-wash Pond behind the Dragon DFAC kinda reminds me of the hippo cage at the zoo back home | |
| 3532. ILB because hearing my neighbor Skype his dog is the highlight of my week. | |
| 3531. the fact that there are half as many people here as where I am staioned and twice the traffic | |
| 3530. ILB becuase there is a guy with a stereo around his neck walking around so you can remember what country music is | |
| 3529. ILB because the burn pit starts to smell like a good ole barbeque after awhile. | |
| 3528. A port-a-potty is perferred over your dormitory restrooms. | |
| 3527. Because when you enter the girls dorm on business the one who lets you in says man in the dorm like she has said it 1000 times that day | |
| 3526. because you appreciate the guy snoring over the guy making more noise trying to wake him up.... | |
| 3525. because i live in Vegas but had to travel around a world to see my first glory hole. | |
| 3524. ILB because Camp Cunningham has a full-grown man-sized rabbit running around.. BAF'd. | |
| 3523. ILB because Michelle Obama isn't hovering over the food at the DFAC telling me what I can and can't eat. | |
| 3522. because the green bean crew are the best dj's we have here. | |
| 3521. it makes cairo seem like a modern & clean city | |
| 3520. She might not be the smallest one here...But she's my favorite! | |
| 3519. ILB for all the free girl scout cookies | |
| 3518. Beard pubes are part of a balanced breakfast. | |
| 3517. b/c Fluor gts to wear jogging suits to work. | |
| 3516. because i would rather watch people dance at salsa night(which sounds and smells like a pack of hyenas mating) than sit on my own prison like camp | |
| 3515. ILB because BAF Pizza Hut makes me appreciate Anthony's Pizza... | |
| 3514. ILB Because thats not what right looks like! | |
| 3513. I can now say "The number you have dialed cannot be reached at the moment," in accent-less Pashto. | |
| 3512. ILB because there is a sign in some restrooms that reads "Please flush the toilet before depositing paper." What SHOULD we do with it...put it in our pocket? | |
| 3511. Because my BAF cool points go up if I slam weights down at the Clamshell and give everyone a headache. | |
| 3510. The guys who stand around but never dance at Salsa night | |
| 3509. Coming home after shift and finding sawdust all over everything in my B-hut......what is this crap? Oh, it's just bugs eating my room away...no big deal. | |
| 3508. ILB because I named dropped "Bagram" on facebook, and now my homestation OPSEC guys is after my nuts! | |
| 3507. Welcome to Bagram,...now lower your expectations. | |
| 3506. The sign at AMC restrooms "Please throw your piss bottles in the trash". | |
| 3505. Bagram Protip: Don't put pogs in your leather wallet. They will leave an impression, and when you go home on leave your wife will demand an explanation. | |
| 3504. Because wresteling with your co-workers everyday is the only way to settle dispuetes | |
| 3503. ILB for full battle rattle Mondays! | |
| 3502. ILB because eating the OVERPRICED pizza-hut pizza here could potentailly kill you | |
| 3501. because you know somethings wrong with you when you dont have a stomach flu | |
| 3500. ILB because the line the LN's form at the toaster in the morning's is better than the Steeler's defensive line. | |
| 3499. ILB because it was the equivalent of hitting the pause button on life for a year... | |
| 3498. It's the only place women are considered two digit standards..."She's a 74" ...A 7 here and a 4 back home...... | |
| 3497. Because I saw "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" at the Afghani movie store today. | |
| 3496. Can somebody please explain the whole "Sons of Anarchy" thing here on Bagram? How does a fictitious motorcycle gang relate to jack shit out here? | |
| 3495. the good idea fairy strikes again; a haunted house in a war zone where half the people have an M9 and PTSD | |
| 3494. ILB because the guy who does my laundry also sells Rolex watches. | |
| 3493. ILB because everyone here is your boss. | |
| 3492. ILB because you know what unit you belong to when you're the only one's required to wear eyepro EVERYWHERE! | |
| 3491. ILB because Mondays is no saulte day, Tuesday is salute if you want day, Wednesday is wear what you want day, Thursday is watch out for uniform violation bus day, Friday is contractor wanna be day, and the weekend is left to your discretion. | |
| 3490. ILB because the hard-boiled eggs separate so easily from their shells. | |
| 3489. because I met the guy who makes all the styrofoam decorations in the DFAC. | |
| 3488. best spotted bumper sticker..s.n.a.b.u.- situation normal, all BAF'd up! | |
| 3487. ILB because I lost 150 pounds...her name was Amy | |
| 3486. Because IBA is used more for weight loss and fitness than it is for protection. | |
| 3485. Yoga won't get you chicks at home--it isn't going to get you chicks here. | |
| 3484. ILB because you can get a purple heart for injuring yourself running to a bunker during IDF. | |
| 3483. ILB because the constuction workers actually look like they enjoy building what the IDF's are about to knock down | |
| 3482. working the aerostat camera, you see the porta potty hotties give BJs to everyone through FLIR. Troop wellfare! | |
| 3481. Because the look of disgust on the new polish soldier's faces when they saw the "polish sausage" in Koehle(E-coli)dfac was priceless | |
| 3480. ILB because I love the crisp smell of IDF in the morning | |
| 3479. ILB because of the "anti-piracy" warnings on the DVDs at the haji store | |
| 3478. ILB because now, instead of getting regular cash from the ATM, you can now be honored to have Afghani Dollars. What's the exchange rate again: 50 Afghani to 1 US Dollar? That means an entire pocket full of paper for lapis necklace. | |
| 3477. ILB because even though i am about to leave I know once i get on the plane some one is going to jump out and say "Gotcha Bitch. your not leaving, your never leaving." | |
| 3476. b/c i think everyone here should watch 'Charlie Wilson's War' @ least once. | |
| 3475. Because anyone going into a porta john with a sharpie is suspect | |
| 3474. @ 3464...what hot chicks? | |
| 3473. Because all the ITT contractors look like Lil Wayne clones | |
| 3472. ILB because drinking so much Nyquil has given me a cold | |
| 3471. Because one month into this deployment your pissed because no matter how many times you erase/scratch out "gutpunchcums" M2M add in the porta-potties, it always shows back up the next day. 6 months in your pissed hes not emailing me back. | |
| 3470. Yes, the cheerleaders are here, but I'm not a hater. All they do is increase the number of desperate horny guys. We'll still be here after the pretty girls are gone; you'll come see us :) | |
| 3469. because getting a CAC card from the US Army has made me appreciate the efficiency of DMV offices stateside. | |
| 3468. I am convinced they wear our laundry on loan. When the sock that came up short last time, showed up this time. | |
| 3467. ILB because the arrival of the Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders just crushed the souls of every Desert Queen on base. | |
| 3466. They have gravy in the lunch line but nothing to actually put the gravy on.... | |
| 3465. Because those stoopid IED jammers in the trucks driving by always screw up AFN when I'm trying to watch X-Factor... | |
| 3464. because the Air Force SF guys try to impress the hot chicks at the yoga and abs classes and quit halfway through. | |
| 3463. ILB because I'm in Australia listening to Aussies talk shit about Bagram | |
| 3462. Because I can now relate to my Uncle that doesn't talk about the war he was in. the difference is; he could drink and get laid. | |
| 3461. ILB because the asshole who has worked in the building next door for the last 6 months still wants to see makes me dig out my flighline badge while carrying 3 trays from the DFAC. | |
| 3460. ILB because I get to laugh at my replacements pissed off email from my couch at home. | |
| 3459. What happens in Bagram does not stay in Bagram. |
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