| 2345. Because I am in the military, on a military base, in a warzone, and still outnumbered about 3 to 1 by civilians. | |
| 2344. Because when the local mosque does the call to prayer it sounds like somebody is choking a flock of geese. | |
| 2343. ...because at Bagram I don't have to speak Spanish... | |
| 2342. Because I realized the unit that just arrived wearing a Nevada patch probably has females in it with less-than-moral professions. | |
| 2341. Because how Army Customs won't let you through with more than 3 oz of shampoo, but my M4 / M9 are good to go! | |
| 2340. ....Because i get to watch prisoners for 12-16 hours a day......and they eat AND sleep better than me. | |
| 2339. Because the PAX Terminal has a sign that says "carry-on bags only beyond this point" at the entrance and another that says "do not leave your bags unattended" | |
| 2338. Watching the SGM walking to the gym in his civilian PTs’. | |
| 2337. Because of the Occupy Bagram Movement at the coffee tables by the coffee joint. | |
| 2336. because coming back here on a C-130 loaded with contractors reminded me of scenes from the movie CON AIR....what prisons did we empty to find these guys!!! | |
| 2335. After being here 7 months my command makes us wear body alarms. At least when they go off now I know someone is getting lucky. | |
| 2334. because of the moments when you try to catch up on sleep after a long day, and the air force decides to make sure their jet's engines can make enough noise to be heard in J-bad. | |
| 2333. Thanks to the Army E-8 who discharged her weapon by the PAX terminal..It's not just Air Force buddy. | |
| 2332. because i just saw a contractor cleaning the word "off" off of his JAC truck | |
| 2331. Thanks to the FN Air Force E-3 who didn't clear his M-16 and discharged a round in the Dragon. | |
| 2330. Because I can be a lazy ass and know there is a high paying job waiting for my here. | |
| 2329. After being @ BAF for 7 months, I realize that I must be a real life 3 because I can't even get hit on by the needy men here...thanks guys. :o( | |
| 2328. Because I realized that when I say "I hope the food sucks for lunch/dinner", I'm never disappointed and I'm happy to have something go the way I want! It makes life easier here :) | |
| 2327. Because every time I put something on this F*cking site it never gets posted....Bastards... | |
| 2326. Getting stuck behind a piece of heavy equipment and having to drive the actual speed limit. | |
| 2325. Because I walked by a dead bird and knew for a FACT it had been eating the local food. | |
| 2324. A 1SG loses a refrigerator because he left it outside his room and asks for it back through a mass email. Outside = Free in Afghanistan. | |
| 2323. Because I just purchased P90X. Not to work out, but to play in the background every time I do laundry stateside. | |
| 2322. Because wearing your gold chains on the outside of your body armor wouldn't be cool if 50 cent did and it's not cool when you do it you bafoon! | |
| 2321. The first question they ask when you have been rushed to the ER after collapsing outside the latrine: Did you eat any local food? | |
| 2320. I overheard a contractor rant on for 15 min about how his pay is jacked up… made me smile inside :) | |
| 2319. because I can still follow up with politics while using the bathroom..Obama this, Bush that all over the porta-john walls. | |
| 2318. Because Applied Nutrition Acai Berry Cleanse costs 8 buck and takes 14 days while the salad at Dragon is free and takes less than 24hrs. | |
| 2317. I think the camp commandant disabled our hot water heaters because he was tired of yelling at us to take four minute showers. Congrats, it works, a-hole. | |
| 2316. F*ck I Love Bagram | |
| 2315. Because IO Global technicians hacks into your computer, steals your files and then corrupt the operating system; forcing you to purchase a new computer. | |
| 2314. @2294... he's a rabbi. | |
| 2313. bc after eating at the DFAC you don't experience "montezuma's revenge" like in mexico, you get "mohammed's revenge" bc all of the mohammeds that work there touched your food (over under of 12) | |
| 2312. Because if you faint outside in the middle of the night, people keep on walking by like nothing is wrong. | |
| 2311. Because BAF is the place to send your ex wife for vacation all expenses paid. | |
| 2310. because Bagram is the place where young airman go to realize the real military sucks | |
| 2309. because the local national that proposes to me every time I pick up my laundry, I think is wearing my underwear | |
| 2308. so if regular milk is goblin cum, does that make strawberry milk fairy cum? | |
| 2307. Where else can you be constipated in the morning and have diarrhea in the afternoon. | |
| 2306. because when the end of tour comes and there is nothing of significance to give for an award....except the Green Bean Coffee Shop Award with Latte attachment! | |
| 2305. because leaving here on a mission is comparable to the joy of escaping the tracker beam on the Death Star.....FREEDOM! | |
| 2304. because I saw cross-fit Jesus today, it is a sign, I can now redeploy | |
| 2303. Because people seem to think the S1 office is Kinkos | |
| 2302. Because they tore down our deck for safety reason such as an MRAP driver might fall asleep and hit it. | |
| 2301. Because where else can you go to the gym and there are fridges stocked with Crystal? | |
| 2300. Because it's the only place that you can get your blanket back the next day, but clothes 4 days later | |
| 2299. because someone always has to ask the bus driver if the bus is going to the big px. "No guy this bus is going of post. try the next one back." | |
| 2298. Because 2275 hit the nail right on the head. Thank you for saying it in a way I could not. | |
| 2297. Because I work night shift, and all trenches must be dug, shitters must be sucked, trucks must be backed up, and at least one room-mate must be off while I am supposed to be sleeping. | |
| 2296. because if you can dodge a mortar you can dodge a ball | |
| 2295. because you can be late for a meeting because of a traffic jam | |
| 2294. Because a O-6 chaplain has a beard longer than the LN | |
| 2293. because the people who moved the coming soon sign for Burger King at Warrior from the side to the front of the building probably think that we actually believe it. | |
| 2292. because I put 30 items into my laundry bag at Yelner and only got 25 back, I didn't think they were counting. | |
| 2291. because I have been here long enough to know when you hear IDF impact, shelter in place dawn IBA, that's the best time to go to the shower! | |
| 2290. For my purple heart with crab claw device for the injuries sustained at aviation DFAC breaking crab legs and lobster tails with plastic utensils | |
| 2289. Because 2281 actually took the time to sniff the garbageman's armpits for comparison purposes... | |
| 2288. Because after reading this im glad im not there. | |
| 2287. because I can look at everything I do in a day and say to myself "I only have to do this XXX more times before I leave" | |
| 2286. because of the French soldier who looks like Mr. T. How do you say "I pity the fool!" in French? | |
| 2285. Because the murderous stare, given by the mujahideen at the DFAC every time someone deliberately throws their tray in whichever trash can he is not pointing at, is proof that we have won their hearts and minds. | |
| 2284. Because once we pull out, Bagram's final purpose is going to be a giant wasteland where shipping containers go to die. | |
| 2283. Because I'm viewing ILB on my $200 a month, tax-payer funded BlackBerry, and can't even get GMail or send texts on this thing! | |
| 2282. Because I can say "good morning" to people when I get up at 20:00 and no one blinks an eye. | |
| 2281. because the garbage cans at Koele DEFAC smell better then the garbageman's armpits. | |
| 2280. because im wearing my uniform this halloween..being guard.. and goin as a real soldier. | |
| 2279. Because of the ash that falls like snow on us from the burn pit..which we were told is NOT harmful to us, meanwhile, I have a letter from the Army that says we may have long term health issues. VA CLAIM..HERE I COME!! | |
| 2278. Because of all the non IT guys on base that dont know how to get around the IO Global Porn Block. | |
| 2277. because I get to see the happy faces leaving and the "so sad" faces of people coming back from R and R....this place really blows! | |
| 2276. because AdoptaPlatoon sends us happy socks, corn nuts and other goodies....YOU ROCK! | |
| 2275. Because of all the big black dudes that think they are entitled to have every female here, no this is not www.lexsteele.com, come back to reality!!! | |
| 2274. because honey badger don't give a shit. | |
| 2273. Because they put new bunkers at the K-spans at Camp S-H and there are already used condoms inside. Seriously folks the bunker has been there for less than a day! | |
| 2272. Because all this porta-potty talk about smurf ass and blue balls is helping me understand why the foreign nationals stand on the toilet seat instead of sitting. | |
| 2271. because AFN just had a Justin Beiber power hour...REALLY AFN?! | |
| 2270. The female crew chief on my flight in...Please....Marry me. | |
| 2269. Because you can never really look cool while driving a Gator | |
| 2268. because I have yet to see a real Sea Midget. So stop asking about them Pilot | |
| 2267. Because only at Bagram do the medical dorms get inspected, and we all get in trouble for having dust bunnies -.- Do the higher ups wake up every day and try to think of ways to lower morale?? | |
| 2266. Because I may be forced to sell a kidney on the black market for a years supply of Charmin in order to save my asshole certain death. | |
| 2265. I've seen alot of entries about TCNs. I call them Foriegn Nationals so when I talk about the FN food service, FN laundry, etc - everyone knows what I mean... | |
| 2264. because the only celebration ceremony I got when going on leave was getting rained on after getting off the air plane on my return trip. Thank you Bagram, I missed you too. | |
| 2263. because i went to the afghan restaurant and there was more hair in the rice than whatever meat i thought i ordered... | |
| 2262. because i heard the stories of people filling condoms with water and freezing them. Then they knock someone over the head with it and rape them. Sounds funny but i still carry my weapon in low ready, just in case. | |
| 2261. Ever notice that it doesn't matter whether you ask for eggs or egg whites in the omelet line, it gets scooped from the same bucket? | |
| 2260. How come no matter what time I walk down Disney I pass the same people? Are there people who just walk up and down Disney all day, like a mall walkers club? | |
| 2259. Because I'd rather live in a small FOB, getting shot at, than deal with the arrogant civilians that think this is life back in the block..Go be a thug somewhere else! | |
| 2258. having rocks thrown down the porta potty breather tubes, giving me smurf ass...watch yourself! :_) | |
| 2257. Because only in prison and here do you have to be concerned about rape when taking a shower | |
| 2256. Because I just was able to buy 10 bags of expired Tostitos at the PX for $2.85 | |
| 2255. Because dudes have a higher chance of getting raped than getting laid here. | |
| 2254. because 2243 paid $15 for a pair of Oakey's at the bazaar...you couldn't barter him down??? | |
| 2253. because every one huddles around the pizza hut pick up window right after they order like their pizza will be ready before the twenty other ppl in front of them. | |
| 2252. Because I go to the medical clinic with a back injury. When the medic gets up to leave the room and I see a google search for "back injuries." | |
| 2251. NASA stands for "Never A Satisfied Appetite" | |
| 2250. Chuck Norris flew over - and left saying "too much for me..." | |
| 2249. Because I'm a contractor and I would totally pay $199 for a 236 shirt. And I'm a chick. | |
| 2248. Because the local nationals at laundry building have to touch my happy shirts and towles. | |
| 2247. Because I just bought my contracting crew 38 " 236" T-shirts, using DOD funds which I diverted from an RLB upgrade fund. Thanks taxpayers, sorry military. | |
| 2246. Because 2224 is obviously a retard and missed the joke. |
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