| 2663. Because even Bagram has trailer park trash. Thanks big haired lady who sits on stoop in dragon everynight, while talking on the phone, wearing a robe, drinking pop, and smoking cigarettes. | |
| 2662. Because it's the only place in the world where broken yellow lines in the road go together with the "Do Not Pass" signs. | |
| 2661. Because we are required to clean or rooms and make our beds when the wall at the head of my bed is covered in black mold, sure thing First Sgt | |
| 2660. ILB because, believe it or not, Bagram has better fake eggs than the Deid, and no veggie hash. | |
| 2659. Beause only in Bagram does an ANA Soldier have a clearance higher than mine. | |
| 2658. Idiots like 2550 who make fun of 2536 for misusing Stockholm Syndrome, when the reference was actually legit. He was saying that a life of freedom seems nightmarish, hence an attachemnt to his captors, i.e. the miltitary. Take your Pheonix Univcersity Degree and fuck off, 2550. | |
| 2657. Because I’m actually looking forward to the Tops in Blue show. I guess deployment goggles also apply to entertainment… | |
| 2656. Finding this site 4 years after you left Bagram and realize that nothing has changed...and you almost miss it. | |
| 2655. Because I'm the chick in 2003, and my ex-fiancee is more of a female than I am. Relationship ended on R&R. Anyone interested in being Fiancee #5? | |
| 2654. Because all i want for xmas is number 236! | |
| 2653. Because porn with a guy dressed up as a werewolf has become acceptable. | |
| 2652. #2646 - boobs are still boobs, you must be new here, quit complaining. | |
| 2651. ILB, because Kabul sucks even more. | |
| 2650. Because after all the crazy stuff I've seen on this base, seeing a group of local nationals walking down Disney with traffic cones on their heads didn't even make me blink. | |
| 2649. Because Santa's work in Bagram is probably gonna be contracted out to Flour. | |
| 2648. because no matter what you eat you will get the shits. Even the salad. | |
| 2647. Because discovering and reading this list now that I'm back home has made my PTSD relapse. | |
| 2646. To the girl walking down Disney today at noon. If you're going to show cleavage...shave your chest. | |
| 2645. Bagram...so this is where germs are born. | |
| 2644. when I got here I saw zero good looking girls... 5 1/2 months later there are hott chicks everywhere..... dont know whats more dangerous, beer goggles or desert goggles... | |
| 2643. Because I have a small celebration in my head every time i get to walk on pavement | |
| 2642. Because thank goodness that somebody put up signs to alert us that the eggs may contain egg products. | |
| 2641. To 2634, You have a boxspring? | |
| 2640. Because you get to see U.S. Coast Guard troops scratching their heads wondering "How the hell did I wind up HERE?" | |
| 2639. Because the haji at Dragon wouldn't let me in because I didn't have a copy of my orders......lol. I luv Bagram! | |
| 2638. because of the sign "Bus stops only at bus stops". | |
| 2637. If the Major that purchased my stolen Montblanc pen for $15.00 wants refills call 079-382-3552. | |
| 2636. Because soon on BAF we will start having homeless people on the corners of Disney begging for change. | |
| 2635. Seeing an Air Force guy pulling his duffel in a Radio Flyer wagon. Seriously dude? You couldn't carry that one duffel? | |
| 2634. Because I cant tell if Im sleeping on the boxspring or the mattress... | |
| 2633. Because Pakistan is hitting us where it hurts. Popeye's is closed until the border reopens. | |
| 2632. Because I have taken to calling my OIC and NCOIC mom and dad in hopes they will buy me a christmas present. | |
| 2631. Because I arrive at my B-hut one night after work to discover the door nailed shut and an order by the camp mayor not to enter. Homeless at BAF. Can shit seriously not get any lower? | |
| 2630. because here these directions are totally normal: Go north on Disney till you round the end of the flightline, you should see the trash burn pillar of smoke then. Continue around and make a right at the mine field. You'll go around some more bends, look for the burnt out Russian OP and fuel tanker. When you get the the T intersection with the other mine field on the left, go right and you have to look for the T wall with the red grafitii... | |
| 2629. Because of the one eyed, four fingered worker at the North DFAC...we know what you did in your last career. | |
| 2628. Because it actually makes me think I was living the good life in Balad. | |
| 2627. because if a German hands a Frenchman a stapler in your presence it counts as Joint and NATO duty. MORE MEDALS FOR O-4s! YEA! | |
| 2626. Because only i this place can you ask a LN if thier prayer carpets fly. | |
| 2625. becuase last night I heard a rape whistle go off and my first thought was if I blackmailed them then I could get a piece of the action... | |
| 2624. Because I saw the Afghan version of Tony Montana in a silky white leisure suit and a pink undershirt | |
| 2623. Because I just love listening to my neighbor arguing with her deployment boyfriend like this is some white trash trailer park. I enlisted to get away from that shit! | |
| 2622. ilb, the new, more offensive, wtf! | |
| 2621. because i deployed with my ex-gf and realized BOTH of our standards have dropped! | |
| 2620. Because were else would you see females with Christmas Bows on their weapon??? I Love this place!! | |
| 2619. The transient overflow is the top bunks of permanent residents. | |
| 2618. because the haji that called me cant believe he had the wrong number. he wont give it up. keep tryin lil buddy... | |
| 2617. The infamous "Good Idea Fairy" is living large on BAF, I think it has O-5 or O-6 rank. There may even be a whole tribe of them. Maybe National Geographic will come by and do a special... | |
| 2616. because the Base Impound lot is starting to look like a militay motorpool. | |
| 2615. Because here, every day is Monday. | |
| 2614. @2606, I would be pissed too if i slept with half the company and diddent get at least a Certificate of Achievement | |
| 2613. I ordered 20 “I kill terrorists” t-shirts and gave them away to LNs who don’t speak English. | |
| 2612. Because I know who put that email about the monte blanc pen and he bought it for $15 at the Sabalu Harrison bazaar. Cheap ass Major! | |
| 2611. A contractor bought all the military in line at the Green Bean a coffee. Thanks patriotic hired merchant of death! | |
| 2610. because only in Afghanistan will a female Major (COUGH/Air Force/COUGH) wrap her 9mm in a plastic bag before inserting and carrying around in her shoulder holster. | |
| 2609. The Marlboro man walking around wearing a duster coat, cowboy hat, cowboy boots with a red handkerchief around his neck. | |
| 2608. Watching a TCN check every faucet in the bathroom to make sure they were all out of water. | |
| 2607. because they put a guy nicknamed " Creepy Uncle Jerry" in charge of teaching females self defense with SARC... seriously????????? | |
| 2606. because my commander is giving out points to his soldiers if their reasons make it to the holy "i love bagram" website. who ever gets the most points gets an award. I have been in this unit for almost 2 years busting my ass, they wont fire me bc im the best at my job but also wont give me an award. ha! that's why ,i f@$%#^& love bagram! | |
| 2605. Because 3/4 of those posting to ILB need to take remedial English. | |
| 2604. Because the LN making my eggs this morning had on a womens button up shirt, I didnt have the heart to tell him. | |
| 2603. because of the Coast Guard officers who seem to have a dramatic boost of self-confidence as soon as you salute them. They are also the most grateful. "You are saluting me? Thank you so much!" That is an actual response to a salute. | |
| 2602. because of that guy who made that MTV cribs remix video on youtube, thanx to him BAF is now a step closer to Hollywood | |
| 2601. Because even though my 1SG has deployed before, when a black hawk flies over the TOC he says "Welcome to a combat zone Gentlemen." | |
| 2600. because u assholes dont post my post about waving to santa down disney yet u let 2575-2591 get posted | |
| 2599. I've seen the guy with the Green Laser Pointer in action, screw whoever has the Tree Rocket, this guy is the King of BAF. If you control the birds, you control BAF. | |
| 2598. because the smoke area near my rlb has a rape whistle attached to it. | |
| 2597. because I saw a specalist with the last name of Manlove in the Chow Hall and thought, damn he got punked... then I looked him up on AKO.... Sorry dude | |
| 2596. Averaging one random dude per hour at my office door, I have mastered the sport of shutdowns. | |
| 2595. I love Bagram because my First Sergeant HATES it | |
| 2594. Becasue Base Ops put a lock on my door, then told me to bring a copy of my orders. Where the hell do they think I keep my orders?!?! | |
| 2593. Because the new Pizza hut just opened up so that there are less people in the gym. | |
| 2592. #2588 finding one of your "Brooks was here" and writing "so was Red" (ILB) | |
| 2591. Because all a Joint Center is good for is having a Navy guy pick up the phone and tell you that the Army guy you called for is out to lunch. Were they just trying to make it like the bridge of the Enterprise and just throw soembody from every branch into a room in the name of teamwork? | |
| 2590. I love it when everyone rags on the Air Force, remember if you piss me off then Im sending your luggage to Djibouti! | |
| 2589. #2543 there are midgets in manjamies...inside the DFIP. We call them our pocket terrorists. | |
| 2588. Writing "Brooks was here" all over base | |
| 2587. Because of the correlation between the decrease in temperature and increase in piss bottle usage. | |
| 2586. Because all of the non-parking areas on BAF are the MP's Reserved Parking Spaces. | |
| 2585. because Base OPs is conducting an audit of our barracks and tells by battle buddy he has to bring in a copy of his orders bringing him to afghanistan. Come on lady, I don't think he is here on vacation but maybe so. Just maybe he stumbled upon this blogsite and decided he needed to vacation and visit this lovely place. | |
| 2584. Prank calls on my roshan phone from afghanis | |
| 2583. Airforce TV...SPICE commercials and proper office box lifting techniques. | |
| 2582. Because before I though Black Water was just a security firm... | |
| 2581. because of the mandatory seat belt law. Event though half of the vintage vehicles I drive don't have seat belts that work! | |
| 2580. Becasue I saw a LN praying at a hanging decoration of Frosty the Snowman. | |
| 2579. Because this is an actual email sent to the entire Task Force: "Please let me know if you have found a pen it’s a mont blanc pen black and silver with a clear end cap with a diamond in it. Reward offered." | |
| 2578. Because I'm still mad that Vietnam got all the good music. I really can't see 40 years from now at Air Shows reenactors demonstrating securing a LZ in Afghanistan to Rihanna. | |
| 2577. What is wrong with you #2569, i get at least two hot showers in a day | |
| 2576. Its like we are in the movie idiocracy. | |
| 2575. Because I watch the commercial for the 100th time with LT Dan talking about suicide prevention as I tie my noose. | |
| 2574. because of my B-Hut neighbor who insists on taking a 5 AM whore bath, with what I assume must be Sex Panther by Odeon. | |
| 2573. Minimum manning in the JOC, overcrowded gym, large groups of people watching movies in conference rooms, a mid-day volleyball game---have we finally won the war?! NO! NIPR is down!!! | |
| 2572. The sight of soldiers with weapons slung at the ready with large mocha frappuccino never gets old | |
| 2571. T-Walls grow like mushrooms | |
| 2570. Because where else but Bagram can I see 12 Afghani's decorating a Christmas tree for Americans outside the Billeting Office...Gotta love this place! | |
| 2569. When the 11Bravo's come to BAF and they bitch at us or call us pogs. And ask how do we live with ourselfs. I reply 1 hot shower a day. | |
| 2568. Because the copy machine in my S shop was put in for a bronze star. | |
| 2567. Because the crazies that live in Fayetteville loosly resemble the crazies in Bagram. | |
| 2566. because i was more worried about being crapped on by the insane amount of birds on disney than i am of incoming. | |
| 2565. Because all the guys in the gym that look like they are on STEROIDS.....ARE on STEROIDS | |
| 2564. With 9% unemployment back in the USA, it is nice to know the Army is doing a stimulus package for India to fix our trucks |
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