| 2968. Because the disenfectant at the barbershop is "The #1 Choice of Farmers and Veterinarians" | |
| 2967. Because Our CMSGT put up instructions in each shower on how to shower in 3 minutes. | |
| 2966. I love Bagram because every morning I get to eat breakfast 100 meters away from 3000 people that want to kill me! DFIP. | |
| 2965. The docs at the TMC won't see patients from 1300-1330 because that's when AFN airs Jeopardy. | |
| 2964. because our benevolent watcher-overers finally noticed we can’t cross the street on our own! – and put crossing guards at Koele during meals. I know I speak for everyone in my gratitude. It’s just like in kindergarten. We couldn’t cross on our own and I know the drivers appreciate it. We’re much safer now. Except at breakfast. No one cares if you get run over at breakfast. | |
| 2963. Because today I saw an Air Force guy holster a stapler on his reflective belt. | |
| 2962. ILB because, I'm still trying to figure out what dfacT means, and why so many people use it in everyday conversation... | |
| 2961. that awkward moment when you think someone is checking you out at the dfact but they are just watching the game on the tv behind you.... | |
| 2960. i was stopped by an MP while driving and he said "do you know this is a one way?" i said "since when?" MP-"it just happened today, they dont have any signs up yet." with that kind of intelligence that MP will make SGM in no time!!.....for real | |
| 2959. ILB because i saw an Air Force guy with a sticker on the buttstock of his M-16 that said 'if found call...' with his roshan number. | |
| 2958. Because the RetroSort Yard is like American Pickers in Afghanistan | |
| 2957. ILB because now we're going to be without water, again. Thanks guy. | |
| 2956. Because people actually take the time to fact check each others posts. | |
| 2955. Because for every comment, there is a comment commenting on that comments' stupid comment. | |
| 2954. to #2950, there would have to be 33,886 errors in each of the 2,951 comments for you to be a millionaire. | |
| 2953. @2950, math check: 1,000,000 divided by 2950 reasons is 338.87 errors per reason - in pennies. Stick to the grammar. | |
| 2952. Because after a year of 5K fun runs, I'll never need to buy another workout shirt ever again! | |
| 2951. Bagram makes me appreciate the Hajis back home, they just want to sell me a slurpee, not blow me up. | |
| 2950. Because if I could collect a penny for every grammatical error on ILB - I would be a millionaire! | |
| 2949. Amemnities to include; functional living area (some utilities paid), withing walking distance to gym and massage parler, daily breakfast and lunch beffet, flights rarley available to your least desired destination, local shops for souvenirs and trinkets, local bus route with multiple stops, 4 seasons with an outstanding mountain view! | |
| 2948. Because of the soldier sleeping in the middle of the road by the aviation DFAC, in the dark, that I almost ran over in my truck. If you are reading this, you good sir, are a fucking retard! | |
| 2947. It doesn't matter how much A-1 Steak Sauce I put on this steak it still taste like I should have gone to college. | |
| 2946. That makes perfect sense so let's NOT do that.~ Bagram | |
| 2945. Because we have idiots (2937) here who think they know everything but can't even spell DFAC right. | |
| 2944. because whenever I pass the DFAC and its smells like strip club...I know it's surf and Turf night! | |
| 2943. Because over a carefully executed, secretive two days, I was able to read every post at my desk - in the Pentagon. | |
| 2942. because there've been so many awkward moments, nothing is awkward anymore... | |
| 2941. The LTC Dr. at the hospital didn't seem to find it as humorous as I did, that I drew penises on the ends of all his tongue depressors... | |
| 2940. because the locals would rather blow themselves up before entering BAF...... | |
| 2939. Because just when I thought this country could suck anymore cox n dix, here comes the wind. | |
| 2938. ILB because of this..."These girls combine the raw power of AC/DC, with a hard hitting, heart pounding and electrifying performance..." BAGRAM Rocks! | |
| 2937. because we have a senior NCO serving as a DEFAC bouncer. | |
| 2936. ILB, cuz my exs all live in the states.. | |
| 2935. #2924 - Your post would be more impressive if you weren't talking about your hand. BTW, next time clean up your mess. | |
| 2934. #2924 - Nope. You're just the only one who's managed to smuggle a goat in there. | |
| 2933. @2924 no theres two that have... You and the guy you were having sex with | |
| 2932. Because I just heard 2 "O's" complain for an hour about making it mandatory to salute everywhere on BAF...then they both stopped and got back on Facebook | |
| 2931. because 'now' you have to protective eye wear in the Aviation DFAC due to some dumbass private injuring his eye on Steak/Lobster night... | |
| 2930. because when I see Kosovars/Bosnians walking down the street, it takes me back to a time where Fiero's and 'The Cure' ruled the world... | |
| 2929. Bagram protip: A "Black Water" truck always has the right of way. | |
| 2928. my views of bagram greatly depends on whether they have bacon at the dfac or not | |
| 2927. Because the first time machine was actually invented in between BAF and Dubai. The DFS flight. | |
| 2926. because the taliban really think these IDFs are hitting shit | |
| 2925. Just when the chow was getting good, the chef gets blowed up. | |
| 2924. I wonder if I'm the only guy who's had sex in the air traffic control tower. Doubtful... | |
| 2923. Because I just saw an Air Force Captain walking down Disney carrying an M4 with a blank fire adaptor on the muzzle. | |
| 2922. Because only on Bagram can a severe weather alert be followed by perfectly calm weather | |
| 2921. @2908, you idiot, we had this same problem when 236 made her lame ass post. CURTAINS AND DRAPES ARE THE SAME THING. My goodness. | |
| 2920. Waiting on the bus for an hour | |
| 2919. I didn't realize I could love Bagram any more. Then it rained... | |
| 2918. ILB because if the "talent" gets old at one DFAC, just head to the next. | |
| 2917. @2913 you know BAF is a place to love when fobbits are making fun of fobbits | |
| 2916. ILB....because it has made me realize that the grass is greener on the other side.... | |
| 2915. because I got sent from BAF to Kandahar as "punishment"! Doesn't matter, had sex. | |
| 2914. ILB bc its the first place I know of to have a desk pop for real. | |
| 2913. BECAUSE IT MAKES NORMAL FOBBITS AND POG'S LOOK LIKE RANGERS | |
| 2912. Just so we're all clear, everyone on Bagram knows that when the doc leaves the room he's just going to check WebMD, right? | |
| 2911. because I am so sexually deprived, I sometimes shave one of my legs so that when I go to bed it feels like im sleeping next to a woman. | |
| 2910. Masturbation skills increase...ILB | |
| 2909. ILB...because we had Avalanche training today... | |
| 2908. The only reason the protest stopped is because #236 showed up and showed the protesters the drapes do match the curtains. Peace at last. | |
| 2907. tell me why i walk out of my b-hutt to see some guy running around base drawing 74.5 on numerous locations in chalk, WTF does 74.5 mean? I tried to stop him then he took off running again and I noticed 74.5 outside my b-hutt door, showers, bunkers, office, on the ground... either we have a mentally ill person on Bagram or something fishy going on | |
| 2906. ILB because today when I asked a sick call patient why he smokes, his reply was, "I smoke because I hate Bagram." | |
| 2905. ILB because now even the cross walk guard is a Afghan contractor... | |
| 2904. because the burn list is gone and it was better than the full list | |
| 2903. Let's give credit where credit is due. I have finished one full year at BAF and to date, the FLUOR laundry people have lost only one sock. I'm guessing it's because they are so busy losing other people's clothes. | |
| 2902. ILB because I've never showered by headlamp before. | |
| 2901. Because if they Afghans won't come to work I know a large group of folks on Wall Street who are bitching they can't find a job with their Lesbian Studies Degree. | |
| 2900. ILB because Dell tech support is a local call... | |
| 2899. because I found the answer to a really old question here. Do they serve beer in hell? Why no, no they do not | |
| 2898. because the harley-davidson dealer thinks starting up their display bike will cause me to forget anything that matters and I'll sign on the dotted line. | |
| 2897. ILB because the only time you get in your Full Battle Rattle is when you go the Promotion Board. | |
| 2896. 'cause this site is like "The View" for soldiers...and contractors only read the posts for a good laugh...start passing out kleenex Bagram! | |
| 2895. Because, I never would have guessed that a burrowing rodent from PA would be able to accurately predict that Bagram, Afghanistan would have six more weeks of winter. | |
| 2894. ILB because just like everywhere else, we will leave as soon as the new buildings are completed. | |
| 2893. I love Bagram because it's safer than attending Virginia Tech for a semester | |
| 2892. Because now since the Afghans are gone, the Freedom Watch Magazine has zero readers. | |
| 2891. because haji is so accomidating that they are staging riots so that we dont feel left out from the occupy movement | |
| 2890. ILB because I want to go the gym but the water in the shower is too cold...i'll work out in the spring. | |
| 2889. We should of never of told them about the right for "free speech." | |
| 2888. Treating your critical contractors like crap then asking them to perform a critical duty no one else in the military is trained to do. | |
| 2887. I love Bagram because Bagram loves us | |
| 2886. I am waiting for the other riot to happen now, there's no ice cream....... | |
| 2885. Because of the water being shut off at the JOC latrines and the doors not being locked, I now know what a quadruple drydock looks like. Thanks. | |
| 2884. First, no alcohol, no sex, no porn and now no showers. The transformation is complete; I'm now a hajji... | |
| 2883. ILB because even when the smallest percentage of contractors strike, the base falls apart. | |
| 2882. Spending 20K a month on diesel to power a building worth 5K | |
| 2881. ILB because I'd be fucking surprised as hell if ILB staff ever posted a contractor's retaliatory remark. | |
| 2880. because 5 days without running water for a shower and it still smells better without all the locals around here! | |
| 2879. ILB because between the water shortage, AAFES blockade and lack of showers/latrines; New Orleans is planning to send us FEMA aid. | |
| 2878. because now it's easier than ever to smell like a local. | |
| 2877. because we're gonna have to build a Nursing home for some of these AARP card holding contractors | |
| 2876. Knowing that the drip from the roof in Porta-a-John is just AWESOMENESS from the 10+ people before you! FML | |
| 2875. because it is so cold I can see my breath in my B-hut... | |
| 2874. at least it makes Lent easy...I am giving up alcohol and sex. | |
| 2873. because you have less repercussions peeing on a dead Afghan than you do burning a book! | |
| 2872. Because I can shop for Burberry, get a massage, and deal with a riot all at the same time. | |
| 2871. because there's a huge block party outside the gate right now, i hear house music!! | |
| 2870. Because we all have the same oppurtunity for an awesome Lent joke: I gave up showers for Lent. FML | |
| 2869. Because of the water shortage, Soldiers are standing outside AAFES secretly selling baby wipes from under their jackets, just like crack dealers. |
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