I Love Bagram Air Field

-Reasons Why I love Bagram-

Updated: April 16, 12:44 am   Bagram/Kabul
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4496. ILBB apparently little children are more capable of avoiding cars through school zones than personnel here on base.
4495. Ilbb im training at tyndal af base to train to deploy , 8 months after i returned from my deployment in bagram.
4494. Ilbb i never drove my dump truck or loader below 30mph , and never got caught.
4493. ilbb my life is in more danger from the slippery ass floors in the transient housing showers than it is from idf.
4492. ILBB I get so bored that I am going to end up trying out the Squat Shit N Pray technique in a Portajon
4491. Because we are approaching a year since the last ROTW was posted, but I keep checking- the hope that there will be a new one distracts me from the hope of ever getting out of country.
4490. ilbb the #44555/ #4456 romance is at least the second one that i'm aware of that got its start on this site
4489. Bagram Logic for a typical IDF event; wake up, put on suitable clothing, run outside to the nearest bunker. Do this all within @5 seconds.
4488. Good thing all these new IDF bunkers are going up, I feel safer already.
4487. Ilbb watchin MP's speed after a gator sirens blaring was the highlight of my day! Is it considered a high speed pursuit if they were going over 20mph!?
4486. ILBB I thoroughly enjoy signing bar letters for people like #4460. Better have your bags packed buddy.
4485. You assholes win this f#%*ing place has drained all the life out of me.
4484. ILB because the men at the Rock like to flex after doing crunches
4483. ->4475 Please reference ->2242 for correctness
4482. Because of the look I got when I dropped off my laundry tied in "Houdini" knots
4481. ILBB the rotator went bankrupt and stranded me on the way. I'm sure my replacement likes this even more.
4480. Because no matter how many times I tell the the DFAC worker fixing my plate - not to put the rice all over three sections of my tray - he still knows what's best for me.
4479. ILBB the rotator went bankrupt and stranded me on the way. I'm sure my replacement likes this even more.
4478. Ilbb of the new "paper towels" at khoele dfac! They are just about as useful as poopy flavored loly pop!
4477. I see the Army has launched their multi-million $ campaign against obesity. Smaller food trays. Brilliant.
4476. ILB because that old vet who goes to the rock gym at night is old as hell, however he's legitimately strong, ripped, and if he had things his way now, he'd burn this country to the ground. Keep lifting old man, age ain't a thing for you buddy.
4475. ILBB people STILL CANNOT reference FLUOR correctly.
4474. ILBB I just saw "Mimi" from the Drew Carey Show walking down Disney.
4473. #4464 wishes he was a CIA, FBI, DEA, OSI, and NSA employee. But he really works for Flour
4472. Ilbb of the female captain that salutes whether you do or not!
4471. @4466 ILBB no joke a kid i work with got an LOC for sitting on our shops ping pong table.
4470. If you are going to stop in the middle of the sidewalk and have a meeting, Yes, I am going to barge through it.
4469. ILBB I broke GO1 one time and now I think she is pregnant but can’t get a pregnancy test for 3-4 weeks.
4468. ILB because I just saw a guy smoking a fat cigar while driving a truck carrying jet fuel.
4467. ILBB since getting a traffic violation notice, MP’s terrify me more than IDF’s or anything else Bagram can throw at me.
4466. ILB because someone got an LOA for hands in pockets. Yes...I know, I wouldn't believe it either if I wasn't here.
4465. Because of the AF Sgt in front of me who spent a good two minutes repeating to the LN laundry guy that he needed his laundry NOW. Nothing you say to him will change the fact that it isn't ready yet, you fucking retard. You want terrorists? Cuz that's how you get terrorists.
4464. ILB because all the idiots dissing on "contractors" don't realize the some of the people you think are contractors are actually CIA, FBI, DEA, OSI, and NSA employees. And yes, we still make more money than you.
4463. At#4459 ILB, that's why you should get out of the service and be a contractor. We focus on doing the actual job we learned in the military. Everyone should make the switch.
4462. Ilb for the old dude who made a huge fuss and refused to leave in the rock when they closed it down one night
4461. Because individuals posting that its been such and such time since they left and they're still enjoying the site will almost always have their post posted. Oh yes, I forgot. I left Bagram about 3.5 months ago and I still visit this site :-P
4460. ILB cuz I make more money selling alcohol here than I do from my contracting paycheck.
4459. ILB becuz as an infantryman here, my job is to cut grass all day, do post police call and pick up trash, inventories, sergeant time's training, rake leaves when needed, paint rocks, stand in formation all day, make sure my room is good for inspection, fill sandbags, all while keeping my boots clean. This is the worst garrison base ever. I hope to PCS to Fort Bragg from here.
4458. ILB because for the last 3 years of being here, my day consists of, hanging out in my room, and going to the dfac.
4457. Ilb because after two years of not being there, the stupid shit that goes in is still funny as fuck.
4456. ILB #4455, my mouth was openned the whole time cuz I was trying to send u messages. I guess u never got the hint :( I wanted to know if u wanna hang out later?
4455. Because of the mouthbreather at the area 82 gym, sweaty, using 10 machines at once, playing air drums, mouth open the whole time... biggest douche there is...give it a break sweatbox
4454. ILB because you know someone's new here when you see them use bottled water to brush their teeth. Start throwing your fucks out the window now, man, let it go...
4453. ILB because after being here for 12 years, we still don't have paved roads, and a Wal-Mart.
4452. 4448...We wouldn't be here if you guys were properly trained and could complete your job without self imploding. I wish you luck in your post-military job search.
4451. ILBB coins, cookouts, and bullet statements... thats we are here for right sir.....never mind the actual workload...
4450. ILB because I saw two soldiers taking pic's of each other doing dumbbell curls in the sabre gym....F.airly A.verage G.uys
4449. ILBB... #4445, shhhh. What goes on in 82, stays in 82
4448. ILB a contractor paid for my large pizza after overhearing me talking shit about them with my buddies. I now need to call USAA to determine why my debit card was declined. FML
4447. ILB because the Army guys here gets sub-standard living pay while stationed in an AFB.
4446. ILB because the same (unspecified service*) NCO that talks shit about contractors, is now asking help to get a job when he gets out. And he does not have a resume. How does he expect to be the mythical millionaire unicorn with shitty networking skills?
4445. ILB because ppl think we are UFO searching on AREA 82.
4444. ILB because the PX sells pregnancy tests. Nobody has to spend days or weeks worrying/wondering.
4443. ILB Because where else can a pill bottle double as a count-down clock? Here's to you, Doxy!
4442. ILB Because the multi-million $ Disney drainage ditch is clearly paying off.
4441. ILBB only here will you find MPs that are assholes enough to write you a ticket for parking next to a fire hydrant that does not have water going to it and hasn't since it was installed. War is over folks.
4440. ILB because of the motivated bread guy at Khole Dfac.
4439. @4368...MOST major energy drink brands contain Bull Semen...FACT!
4438. ILB because 4433 is jealous of our beards and bad mouths us NOW...but right before redeployment he'll ask one of us to help him get a contractor job...Dick!
4437. lol, #4433 are you the fat E-4 that #4435 is talking about?
4436. @>4433 Just because "we" contractors wear beards is because we are too lazy to shave and/or like having them, it doesn't mean we are trying to be "doorkickers". Either way we are laughing at you all the way to the bank. You jealous bro?
4435. ILB because I saw the fattest E4 on BAF eating an entire plate of cheesy fries at Grady yesterday.
4434. ILB because people walk around playing rap music on their phones. You know who you are....
4433. ilb all the contractors with beards think theyre door kickers. only to find out they maintain the washers
4432. ILB Because today I was stopped at the MWR by a MSgt and asked why I thought I was too good to blouse my pants... my response "Sir, this is the 2 piece flight suit..." In response he just glared at me and walked off...
4431. ILBB because I can wear a purple shirt with a unicorn and a castle on it and it pisses off the SOF guys!
4430. ILBB if I'm the girl #4425 is talking about, I'm flattered.
4429. ILB because it's full of POGS, that have no idea what being deployed really means.
4428. Because I have come closeer to getting run over by the MP's in the crosswalk's than anybody else.
4427. @4417 Super POG stikes again,you wouldn't know a war if it kicked you in the ass
4426. Because since ILB is now blocked at work, I will be at the internet cafe much more than often.. during work.
4425. Ilbb my buddy has a huge crush on Air Force Lil red riding hood at the rock gym! Who knew you could be deathly afraid to talk to an AF chick, but to go on mission where terrorists are trying to kill you could be so easy!
4424. ILBB I can no longer distinguish IDF from my air-conditioning unit on AROCC
4423. ILB Because I saw a truck that said "Potable Water" on the side and did a double take...
4422. Because of the conversation about Pixar movies written on the walls of the porta-potty at the FARP.
4421. Because after reading through this list on what to expect when I get to BAF, I realized I still need to do a couple of things before I leave. 1. Build a time machine, go back 16 years and kick my younger self in the balls for walking up to the recruiters office saying to myself the Air Force wont send me anywhere too bad. 2. Buy a Costco sized bottle of Anal Eze...BOHICA!
4420. ILBB because the Army chick doing yoga back bends in front of the treadmills at the rock needs to stop. It's like putting a doughnut in front a fat kid.
4419. Because, on a cold day, the steam from my piss in the porta-potty urinal float up in my face.
4418. Because, only Bagram has a HMMWV that looks like it fell off the set of a Resident Evil movie. I saw it at the BX yesterday, which BTW does not have the R.E. movie.
4417. Aaaaaand ILB is blocked... for what fucking reason, words on a page are too much for the military to handle? Awww did somebody say a naughty word? This is a war zone dumbasses, if you didn't realize it by now, we are out here killing people. But a website talking about daily life is just too much. Fucking retards.
4416. ILBB the demolition crews wanted a house on a hill with a view, so they placed a fully intact bhut atop a 10 high pile of debris.
4415. Because according to Bagram's wikipedia page, B-huts "raise the standard for troops serving here"
4414. Because we've been here over a decade and the army just now decided to set up C-RAMs.
4413. because my security code word for posting this is hit her. Promoting family violence
4412. ILBB of the self-important asshats at the 401st that somehow thought reserving the overflow tent at Yelner DFAC, during lunch, was a good idea. Hey dumbasses, its called an OVERFLOW TENT for a reason!
4411. ILBB this site has finally been blocked, there goes my only reason for showing up to work.
4410. ILBB tempo is so slow that 3 a days at the gym are sounding better and better every day.
4409. ILBB how the army chicks here are so dedicated to MWR!
4408. ILBB everytime I leave, I tell myself I'm not coming back... yet here I am.
4407. ILB because on "special pizza" day at the DFAC, they cut the pizza with metal spatulas against the metal grill, leaving deep visible scratches. Today was the second time I found metal shavings on my crust, and the fact that I still ate everything made me realize how low my give-a-fuck meter has gotten after 5 months.
4406. Because of fuckers like #3705 who make you navigate more than an entire page over just to find the post they're referencing. Yeah asswipe, how does it feel?
4405. The oh so fresh bread in the DFACs Any fresher you couldnt bitchslap your boss with it and knock him cold
4404. ILBB walkin down Disneys like darth vader walkin on the death start "DARK LORD" storm trooper "DARK LORD" storm trooper SMH
4403. Almost been a year since i left this beautiful place on earth... and still check back up on this website.
4402. ILBB on a porta pottie wall, someone decided to write on it, with their own poop...all I could say was...WOW...and then capture a picture for facebook lol
4401. ILBB after over 4000 reasons, we are still fantasying about #236...
4400. ILBB red headed Air Force girls.
4399. ILBB #4395 doesn't realize that a Kb and a KB are two different things. You paid for a peak of 1024Kb/s, and got 120KB/s...or 960Kb/s. I'd say close enough not to warrant bitching about how your war zone wifi in a country that lacks the infrastructure for running water is a bit slower than expected...
4398. Because human feces on the side of the road isn't normal. But on Bagram it is.
4397. going into a port o pottie to see shoe prints all over the seat. I cant be the only one with a desire to get a can of cooking spray and liberally covering the seats of every port o pottie that has shoe prints on them and sitting patiently waiting for one of them to come out blue as a smurf limping and thinking damn I may consider sitting next time like the majority of the civilized world
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