 | 3205. ILB because here, mohawks are the new mullet for contractors. |
| 3204. BC people who are actually secret squirrels (unlike 3202) don't write on ILB |
| 3203. ILB because I take pictures of the females on the FOB to see how many goats each one is worth with the local villagers... | |
| 3202. Because of my secret squirrel status I can't even post why ILB. | |
| 3201. With the mountains on all sides of Bagram its like a giant butthole. And when your here your prairie dogging for six months to a year till you fall out... | |
| 3200. because my arm gets a better workout saluting on Disney than rubbin' one out in my room | |
| 3199. @3197 Thats because even fat chicks can be picky out here. Thought that was common knowledge. | |
| 3198. ILB because my MOM thinks I'm in combat... | |
| 3197. ILB because I find it hilarious that the ILB site won't post my comment about guys needing the Bagram Scale to measure a girl's looks, but to girls if a guy was ugly in the US, he's still ugly here! This is my third try... | |
| 3196. Because only on Bagram will you find someone in-line skating down Disney at 0530 like he's in Santa Monica. | |
| 3195. ILB because Bananas have become a precious commodity here | |
| 3194. ILB because I'm contemplating ways to make toilet wine | |
| 3193. Because any form of weather other than sunny is enough for AFN in my room to stop working | |
| 3192. ILB due to the late-night free-roaming packs of LN's. | |
| 3191. ILB because it's clearer outside when it's raining then when it's sunny. | |
| 3190. ILB because where else can I get a gun pointed directly at my face while standing in line for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and in pretty much every other line with someone wearing a shoulder holster in it.. | |
| 3189. ILB because I just saw two LN's sleeping on their wheelbarrows and one sitting and picking his nose while the 4th one was working to spread gravel. | |
| 3188. because, after being gone 11 months, I still get reports that BAF lodging is STILL a monkey trying to screw a football! | |
| 3187. The AFN hygiene ads tell you to wash your hands for 30 seconds, but the automatic cutoff in the water faucets turns off the water after 5 seconds. | |
| 3186. ILB because of the double stop sign at North DFAC...."what does it mean?" | |
| 3185. ILB because civilian analysts with beards look like Amish guys with baseball caps on. | |
| 3184. Because today on ILB someone tried to make fun of someone at the bazaar, and spelled it bizarre. | |
| 3183. ILB because the Special Forces look like Amish guys in baseball caps. | |
| 3182. Because we actually pay the locals to fill the cracks in the sidewalk. | |
| 3181. I finally get a 6 month break from my spouse. | |
| 3180. ILB because I was told to create a Sign In Roster to take an annonymous survey. | |
| 3179. because i heard a tcn at the bizzare today tell a guy he can get one pair of sunglasses for $10, or two for $25... very good deal indeed sir!! | |
| 3178. because I can't tell if there was incoming IDF or DHL just dropped a container again. | |
| 3177. Because this is where the future taxi drivers train. | |
| 3176. because of the 120 days of wind. | |
| 3175. ILB Because more people showed up for the Toby Keith USO show than to see the President of the United States of America | |
| 3174. ILB because the only time a cute girl talks to me it turns out she works for mental health and thinks I'm in distress. | |
| 3173. because I found out on CNN that the president was 10 feet down the hallway | |
| 3172. It's the only place I can drink the oatmeal and eat the light coffee! | |
| 3171. this place makes Hangover II feel like a walk in the park! | |
| 3170. @3161 Aww come on... say all that with a 'Brittish' accent and it totally sounds right. Now quit being a wanker. | |
| 3169. because of the Toby Keith concert...first country concert in which I was sober. | |
| 3168. doing all the work so your supervisor can get Performer of the month | |
| 3167. waiting for the air condition to turn on to mask the sound of you punching the clown | |
| 3166. @3158 -- SPELL CHECK ALERT: British. Not 'Brittish.' | |
| 3165. when you laugh at @3111 because that packet came across your desk. | |
| 3164. i love bagram because i saw a homeless guy wake up, strech and then leave the rotary pax terminal while i sat and waited to fly space A...wtf! | |
| 3163. @3161 - Where do you hear small arms fire at night? It must be your neighbor playing Medal of Honor or the rythmical pounding of his fleshlight. | |
| 3162. @3155. Now if only the USO could find someone with a song about tortilla chips to go with that endless supply of salsa at the PX. | |
| 3161. @3158, that's funny, a Brittish General asked me last week why they are calle B-Huts. | |
| 3160. Because I can now sleep better to small arms fire than I can to the sound of rain or ocean waves. | |
| 3159. For getting a history lesson on things I could care less about... like a BHut... | |
| 3158. @3131- BHut stands for Barracks Hut, its a Brittish military term adopted by the US. Yes, SEABees did build some of them, but they are not an invention of the NAVY. | |
| 3157. 3084 A boulevard usually has 2 lanes of traffic going in each direction and traffic direction is separated by landscaping (grass, trees, shrubs, flowers, etc.). | |
| 3156. because in ten years the tourists have driven up the pirate DVD prices to intolerable levels. | |
| 3155. ILB because the Toby Keith USO tour has prompted the marketing geniuses at the BX to display and sell Red Solo Cups...Really? Like we can use them for the intent and purpose he speaks of in the song...Thank you AAFES for yet another reminder why ILB! | |
| 3154. ILB for the whoever calls me from 234 on my cellphone all day and night... | |
| 3153. 3146 Dollar DVDs? When were you here OEF 2? | |
| 3152. Even after the bridge at Collie DFAC was removed people still try to walk across the open drainage ditch and occaisionally one falls in and the ones behind still follow like lemmings | |
| 3151. I Love Bagram because today I saw a MSG wearing a Louis Vuitton shoulder holster for his 9mm. | |
| 3150. Because my RLB HVAC has only two settings; Satan's lair and Antartica. | |
| 3149. I love giving 'Mr.Burns' arm a workout at the North DFAC every time they have ice cream! | |
| 3148. ILB cause I saw an AF guy writing names on his bullets with a Sharpie and then reloading them in his magazine. I'll be reading about this in Stars and Stipes a month from now! | |
| 3147. ILB because the USPS has a non mailable items list: no human remains. Thanks for letting me know cause I was just about to mail some body parts. | |
| 3146. ILB because now that I've been in the U.S. for a year, I miss dollar dvd's | |
| 3145. The sinkhole by the clamshell gym sucking in the bunker. Now I'm waiting for the whole FOB to swollow itself. | |
| 3144. ILB because of "Spring Clean Up". In this country, that's the ultimate oxymoron. | |
| 3143. If God/Allah/Buddha ever decides to give the world an enema, He'll have to plug in right here... | |
| 3142. Because after an IDF attack you get everyone's opinion on what really happened followed up by more "safety briefings" | |
| 3141. ->3137 ILB because where else will you find a non-spelling idiot correcting another non-spelling idiot. *("Seabees") | |
| 3140. The MPs must really be involved into finding whoever stole the bridges to the Koehle DFAC, they cordoned off a crime scene and everything. | |
| 3139. because Mustache March is OVER, but these d-bags are still rocking their pedi(file)-staches! | |
| 3138. ILB because running a full marathon is offered as a activity to battle boredom | |
| 3137. ILB because people think the term B-Hut is spelled BEEHUT and references Seabeas as opposed to "Barracks Hut" | |
| 3136. You know you are under a lot of stress in Bagram when you start getting on your own nerves. | |
| 3135. Hey 3126 at least you don't have to face Cannon AFB sober. | |
| 3134. ILB 3133- If they spend all day in your way at the gym and PX, then you must not spend much time at work either. | |
| 3133. ILB because apparently the Polish military only works for 15 minutes a day the rest is spent in my way at the PX and gym... | |
| 3132. Our Major just referred to NIPRNET as FACEBOOKNET. | |
| 3131. ilb because most everyone that lives in a BEEHUT but has never heard of the Seabees.. | |
| 3130. ILB because our unit hold a 100 mile race and CSM doesent allow anyone to wear a hat or boonie cap while running. | |
| 3129. 3117 Go down by the haji mart on the south end of disney the street sign says Disney Blvd. I cant make it up. | |
| 3128. ILB because I feel much more safe and secure when the transient soft skinned tents are secured with cipher locks. | |
| 3127. ILB because when the Britney Spears music video playlist comes on in the DFAC every LN stops working | |
| 3126. ILB, cause sad to say, this place has more things to do than Cannon AFB, New Mexico. | |
| 3125. Because I had cut through concertina wire to get to billeting from PAX Terminal | |
| 3124. ILB because I get to see the Egyptian Military, wherein apparently everyone looks like Super Mario | |
| 3123. ILB because I just read that enlisted military is ranked as the 3rd worst job (Out of 200). Garbage man ranks #159. Now I love this place that much more. | |
| 3122. The highlight of last week: Replacing the creamy middles of several Oreos with Pepsodent and dropping them off in the pilot's lounge at work. | |
| 3121. Cause I got some other dude's underwear back from the laundry and I wear them cause I just don't care anymore. | |
| 3120. Because when your here and you find out your marriage is over, it just seems like a fitting place to have it happen. | |
| 3119. ILB for its ability to instill a sense of safety by placing signs outside my barracks entitled, "Mass Casualty Collection Point" | |
| 3118. Anyone see the guy who dresses like a retarded version of Malcolm X in the PAX? | |
| 3117. At 3084...it's just Disney....plain fucking Disney....are you trying to mail a letter or find the Green Bean on your GPS...WTF? | |
| 3116. ILB Because Clamshell Gym is a great place to go and see grown Men wearing clothing purchased at Kids R US!!! | |
| 3115. ILB because this is the only place where Afghani's will come to repo your leased unit vehicles | |
| 3114. I was just informed that some of my posts probably don't make it to this blog because I use too much profanity. I just don't see what the f*** the problem is here! | |
| 3113. ILB because even after 6 months here, dudes that came here fat are leaving just as fat... mind=blown. | |
| 3112. B/C the Doc said I'm not the only one who got the clap in the Flour compound! | |
| 3111. Because we are tossing around ideas of how to justify buying $3,000 worth of curtains for our BDE HQ's | |
| 3110. where else is Red Bull a priceless commodity while you can find emeralds in the road gravel with ease? | |
| 3109. I.L.B. because when you show up the mountains are beautiful and the chick are ok, but in no time the mountains are ok and the chick are beautiful. | |
| 3108. Finally, a place for Sergeant Majors to spread their wisdom to the masses! | |
| 3107. The plot for the movie District 9 must have been from somebody that spent time in BAF. | |
| 3106. ILB because not even the DFACs can follow their own menu thats posted on the BAF site |
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